I think I do need sleep right now. Sleeping is the most important human being's need. It's primary need and it's basic to do. With sleeping we can regain our strength and rest our body. I love sleeping.
And now, I'm just laying on my bed, kissing my pillow, and have prayed. Wishing for a beautiful dream. Wishing for a better condition. Then why I still write something like this? And not go to sleep as soon as possible?
Coz I'm Insomnia.
Do you ever had a condition, when you're really sleepy, but you can't close your eyes to take a rest? Or, do you have a condition, when you're really tired, but you can't go to sleep? Yay, we have the same condition, a freaking condition called Insomnia.
There's so many characteristics of Insomnia. Sleepy but can't sleep, stay alive at night and don't want to sleep, or feeling nervous while laying on bed to sleep. It's just the same. It's Insomnia. The similarity is, we can't sleep. For me, let me just say "I hate Insomnia", really hate it.
Insom, caused of so many reasons. So many thoughts, having crucial problems, or even falling in love (hahaha). First reason is mine. Recently I have so many thoughts, bout everything. But most, caused of me missing my Mom. My lovely Mom who had passed last year.
I don't know how to erase this sadness. It's just so hard for me. I do miss her. And she's always on my dream, smiling on me. I miss her voice, and her soft touch. Recently I found myself depressed caused of this. I really need you Mom. I love you.
Despite that. I shouldn't sad for so long. I need a break up. I need to move on (something I always say to my friends "move on"). Cause I'm a firework (ahahaha.. I really love this song #Katy Perry) and I just need to ignite my light that hiding in my soul, covered with sadness.
To start it, the first thing to do is : Sleep
Of course, I need to sleep right now. I'm so tired, tired of my sadness, tired of my condition, tired of my life. With sleeping, I can get rid of this, even just for a while. Let me just say, I'm hiding from it. And even it won't changed, and my problems won't be done, It's okay. I felt so fun when I play hide and seek when I was a child, so do now, just in different game. The game of life. Lol!
Don't you think I'm a looser? Hiding from my condition? Run from my problem?
Someone says "we must face the truth, do not run from it, face it!" and I agreed him. I'm not run from it, I'm not willing to bring it off. Coz I know, we can't hide from it, the only way to solve a problem is with face it. Challenge it! Defeat it!
So what I do now? If I'm not hiding, or running from it, what am I doing right now?
I just want to take a rest, for a little bit. I'm so tired of this. I've face it for so long ("it" refers to any problems and obstacles on my way to future) but I don't know, I can't defeat it. It always stronger than me, killing me slowly.
Aaarrgghhh!!
I want to go to a silent cliff, and screamed out loud. I want to throw away my problem, even I know it can't be gone easily that way. But maybe can help me to loose my bad feeling.
Oh my God! I should sleep right now. I want to see my Mommy, in my dream. I should tell you, I often see her in my dream. Just like yesterday, I saw her washing my clothes and give it to me with her gently hands. I miss you Mom, you should be in a good place full of happiness right now.
Maybe it's the first reason why I do love sleeping : coz I can see my lovely Mom. Second, just like what I wrote, can help me to take a lil rest from my unending problems.
Voila! Now I have a good news, and a bad news. And it's always better to say the bad news first right? And the bad news is : my tears starts falling from my eyes, coz I'm thinking bout my Mom. How she's always sent me to sleep that time. That wonderful times, full of love.
Enough, it's enough.. I'm sick of it.. >.<
Just like I'm dying right now. But wait, I don't wanna die. Okay wake up andreas, wake up from your unconscious, this is a big world, it's not a small town. There're still many places for you to explore. Keep up your spirit ^^
At last I need to say the good news. And the good news is :
I'm so sleepy right now !
Maybe blogging is a good idea to get out from Insomnia, ahahaha.. I've tried so many ways before, such as counting a sheep. But it's not work for me. I even changed the sheep into something more complex like a food, and start counting it, but still, zero result. The fact is I found myself hungry than sleepy while counting a food. Wkwkwk
Well I think I should write a goodbye words for everyone. And here it is.
Have a nice day everyone,
Sleep tight,
Sweet dreams,
Let me take a rest,
Bye bye :*
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